We are talking about going from a time of pre-illness or without pain to a life that is endlessly impacted by chronic pain. This shift, even when it occurs slowly over many years, can be isolating, depressing, and challenging to navigate.

Why?

Our mind wanders to the way things used to be…

We remember how productive we could be in a day…

We think about how easy it was to move our bodies…

We start exercising and give up because it isn’t worth the flare-up…

We wake up hopeful for a good day and have a hard time just getting out of bed…

We make plans just to struggle with the idea of cancelling them due to pain…

It’s hard to think about anything else because of pain…

Our lives have become smaller because pain has taken the drivers seat.

And despite all of these things, sometimes we keep going. We keep pushing and pushing, moving forward with our extensive to-do lists, tasks that are priority, and tasks that seem like priority because we don’t want to disappoint people. And we keep going, we flare up our pain, and still don’t feel like it is enough.

How many cycles of this did you experience? Of pushing through without a break, exhausting yourself, burnout to the max, before you came to terms with the fact that something had to change? Have you come to terms yet?

With the idea of pacing, has to first come an acceptance of your baseline… what is your starting point NOW? Here’s what I mean by a starting point. How much activity can you do, and for how long, before you would flare up your pain? Is it a 10 minute walk? 5 minutes of dishes? 1 minute of laundry? Of course this takes a little experimenting, but I think we often know what the answer is and just don’t like it. We aren’t used to having to break our behavior and activity down into small, sometimes tiny, manageable parts.

Why do we need to pace? Well we can’t build from a flare-up. That’s obvious. We can’t keep pushing, having high levels of pain, and expect to be and stay productive without the disappointment and depression that comes with being in a chronic state of flare-ups. We need to pace because we need to recalibrate our nervous system. It becomes hypersensitive, especially when in a constant flare-up. We need to pace to retrain our brain. Let’s have some experiences with movement that DON’T result in a flare-up. That communicates to our brain that “this movement is safe”. Do that repeatedly and your brain learns that movement is safe, doesn’t necessarily mean pain, and THAT is something that you can build from. We need to pace so that we can slowly, intentionally, and without flare-up recondition our bodies. Hard to stand long enough to brush your teeth? Difficulty finishing the dishes without nagging pain in your back? That is deconditioning.

When I was in clinical practice, the acceptance that was needed to start pacing was the hardest part. Old tapes played over and over in their heads, reminding them of the “good old days”, before pacing was ever a thought. Once people accepted their baseline, or their new starting point, pacing was the number one intervention that helped them reduce flare-ups. Once they were kind to themselves, dropped the expectations of others down a notch, and focused on what their brain and body needed to be safe, they could start making progress.

If you’re trying to pace and becoming angry or frustrated, this could mean that you haven’t yet found acceptance (or the right baseline). You may have to dig a little deeper. For example, I find that I get angry at my pain and the need to pace when I’ve overcommitted, taken on too much, and putting pleasing others ahead of what my own values are (time, movement, health, and family). When I’m making a to-do list, pleasing others, and thriving off the business, it keeps me from (over)succumbing to fatigue or maybe focusing on the more important things I’m avoiding. But I find that if I can accept my baseline for that season of life, make decisions that stem from my values, and use pacing to design a day with better balance, and regular breaks, my mental and physical health soar. THAT is when I am my most productive, most outgoing, most authentic, most efficient, and taking the most steps toward the things that are meaningful to me.

Sometimes we need to look at WHY we push ourselves past our limits and compare that version of us with the version of us that has designed our days with more balance.

You are unique, multidimensional, and pacing (and acceptance) looks different for everyone. Still… wouldn’t it be helpful to get a helicopter view of your day? To see whether or not you are taking steps toward your values, or sacrificing what you need in order to just get things done. Wouldn’t it be great to get a visual of the balance in your life?

Education provides the power to take the next step in managing your pain. You want to do the things you enjoy (or even basic daily activities) without flaring up your pain. For a limited time, you can grab my free video tutorial to get you started:

3 Simple Steps to a Balanced Day... Without the Flare-Ups.

This free video tutorial is dedicated to helping women with pain begin to find confidence to return to the moments, activities, and people they love the most.