Connect with me!

Tell me the number one thing that you want to understand about your pain?

I agree to terms & conditions provided by the company. By providing my phone number, I agree to receive text messages from the business.
Start Where YOU Are

Start Where YOU Are

February 06, 20246 min read

How do you know when you’re ready for the process of self-transformation?

Are you in the beautiful place of feeling ready to make a change? If you’re not sure, that’s okay.

Let's also consider that you're at a very unique point your journey because your journey is unlike anyone else’s. But YOU are here now, starting where YOU are.

Change is a process with many phases that people flow in and out of. This could look like someone who is fully ready to start something new and transform, perhaps already having a track record of brief “success”, but who has fallen prey to a pain cycle that is difficult to get out of. OR this could look like someone who has faithfully collected all of the education and resources they possibly could, and say they are ready for change, but upon deep reflection realized they just weren’t there yet.

One of the first things that can come up with any kind of lifestyle modification is the idea of “readiness for change”. This idea is based on something called the Transtheorhetical Model. (Prochaska & DiClimente, 1983). This model suggests that we move through a series of stages related to behavior change (rather than a black and white idea that we either change or we don’t).

The stages look like this:

Pre-contemplation: You are unaware that there's even a need for change and have no plans to make a change.

Contempation: You're considering change, seeking education and support.

Preparation: You've started planning for change, gathering resources (and confidence).

Action: You're making positive forward movement, starting to put plans into practice.

Maintenance: New changes/new behaviors are becoming part of your daily life. You're keeping it going!

I’ve always liked how this model acknowledges that people can flow in and out of different stages of change AND that certain types of education work best for people at each level. When we acknowledge this flow and these differences, it serves to lower resistance, facilitate change and forward momentum, and prevent relapse/flare-up.

In healthcare, I think a lot of providers assume that their patients are in an “action” stage of change, or thinking they are truly ready to try something new. They send them home with assignments or exercises to do that they really aren’t ready to do yet. The process of assigning homework to someone in a pre-contemplation stage is not a good match, for example. It’s so important to identify (or self-identify) where you are right here, right now, in the process of change, how to meet them there, and provide just the right kind of education.

I’ve listened… a lot. And I know firsthand that understanding what motivates someone is an important first step.

When I asked people what they thought was causing their pain, the answers were often followed by a diagnosis (well I have degenerative disc disease) or a statement their doctor used (I have bone on bone). Women either continued to identify with these diagnoses, or they’d started their own educational journey and had a different idea of what was causing their pain.

But diagnosis and medical language doesn’t really get us to what MOTIVATES you, does it. If I asked you what you’re doing now to cope with your pain, or what you miss most about your life before pain, I’d get a better idea of the things that bring you joy and the types of things that motivate you for change. Maybe you already have some idea of what you would like to change about what you are doing to manage your pain.

The fact that you are here already suggests to me that you are interested in seeing things change or finding a different way to approach how pain is impacting your life. But I’ve seen women jump from treatment to treatment, frustrated that nothing “worked”.

“Worked” is such an interesting word, right? Our pain and our lives are unique and multidimensional, so the answer to this question would be as unique and multidimensional as we are. We would all define success differently in terms of what would be different about our lives if something “worked”.

When you think of your own definition of “worked”, you can start to tease out your values, the changes that are important to you, your motivation. Your intention for change.

And then we look at optimism - why could this work? If you go back in your life, what examples or experiences give you optimism that you can succeed in overcoming your pain? On the days or phases where your pain is better, can you focus on what it is that you are doing differently on those days?

Look, if you’re responding to these questions with some doubt and resistance, you may be in the pre-contemplation or contemplation stage of change. It is okay to spend a lot of time in these stages of change and I commend you, first and foremost, for being here with me in this newsletter.

There’s a lot you can do here in these phases of the cycle:

• Hang out on my Instagram and my blog – feelings of trust and connection will be your ally here.

• When you feel ready, dive into the education and collect information to learn and build your sense being supported. Some great early tidbits of education can be found here.

• Consider what has brought you to this newsletter today, or that blog post you read.

• Really gain a clear picture on what YOU think is driving your pain at this point. Notice discrepancies between your own narrative, that of your doctors, or what you are learning.

• Reflect on past treatments: What have you gained from them? What is there to lose by learning something new?

• Consider writing or saying out loud any motivational statements or statements of intent that come to mind.

Beyond that, when it comes to overcoming chronic pain, managing day-to-day, and preventing flare-ups, education can give you some major forward momentum you need.

Education provides the power to take the next step in managing your pain. You want to do the things you enjoy (or even basic daily activities) without flaring up your pain. For a limited time, you can grab my free video tutorial to get you started:

3 Simple Steps to a Balanced Day... Without the Flare-Ups.

This free video tutorial is dedicated to helping women with pain begin to find confidence to return to the moments, activities, and people they love the most.

Custom HTML/CSS/JAVASCRIPT

BACK PAINCHRONIC PAINCHRONIC PAIN CYCLECHRONIC PAIN DEFINITIONCAN MENOPAUSE CAUSE PAINCHRONIC PAIN HELPCHRONIC PAIN JOINTSCHRONIC PAIN MANAGEMENTCHRONIC PAIN NECK AND BACKCAN FEMALES HANDLE MORE PAINCHRONIC PAIN RESOURCESCHRONIC PAIN RELIEFCHRONIC PELVIC PAINCOPING WITH CHRONIC PAINCHRONIC PAIN SYNDROMEDEALING WITH CHRONIC PAINIS CHRONIC PAIN PSYCHOLOGICALLIVING WITH CHRONIC PAINCHRONIC PAIN SYMPTOMSNECK PAINWHEN CHRONIC PAIN BECOMES TOO MUCHWOMAN CHRONIC PAINWOMEN AND CHRONIC PAINCHRONIC PAIN SUPPORTWOMENS CHRONIC PAINWOMENS CHRONIC PELVIC PAINFIBROMYALGIAALL IN YOUR HEADEXPLAIN PAINHEALING JOURNEYMIGRAINEITS NOT ALL IN YOUR HEADMENOPAUSE
Back to Blog