Being told to pace can be triggering. The initial resistance to the idea of pacing is strong. Quite often.

Here’s what I hear pretty commonly:

Pacing means doing less

Pacing is restrictive

Pacing feels like another thing on my to-do list

Pacing won’t work for me because my symptoms fluctuate and are too 

Unpredictable

I was no different. I remember when I first learned about pacing and this idea that I should intentionally designing my ideal day to protect my physical and mental energy.  I thought… “you’re asking me to do less, expect less of myself.  To restrict.  I’m already restricted. Living life with pain isn’t the same as living life without it.  You’re asking me to just ignore the grief that comes with having to do life differently because I have chronic pain”.

In my years as a clinical psychologist, I saw a lot of “fixes” that were just hype.  They were passive, limited, sometimes downright silly, and almost never gave the person in pain the life back that they were missing.

Now I’m not saying that pacing is a “fix” for chronic pain or “cures” chronic pain.  But I’m going to shift your thinking here. 

I’m not trying to “fix” your pain. 

We aren’t “curing” you from any diagnosis.  What we ARE doing is reconnecting you with the things that are most important to you.  Giving you a step-by-step plan to get back to JUST THAT… but without the flareups.  Without the crashes.  Without the low productivity.  Without the canceling plans and isolation.

I have introduced pacing to some of the most success-or-failure, no-pain-no-gain, all-or-nothing thinkers.  If they were willing to try designing their day differently, it always resulted in a positive experience.  

Here’s why:

When I was thinking about what the focus should be (hear me out), it wasn’t getting the pain level down, getting rid of depression, or giving them another fix.  The focus was to hone in on their life, their experience, their desires, and their values.

What do I mean by values?

What were those ah-ha moments in their lives that felt magical - that nothing needed to be added or taken away.  Moments that provided fulfillment in their most authentic form because they were so deeply tied to the values of that individual and what was meaningful to them in their lives (or used to be).

When you make decisions from your values, you can’t go wrong.  You can make movement toward your values in a really intentional way, with a step-by-step plan, a design of an ideal day, pacing and alternating different types of activities in a specific matter.

The changes we would see were clear. Even though the focus wasn’t on getting the pain level down or getting rid of negative emotions and frustration, sometimes they would experience those improvements as a result of driving their behaviors in the direction of what was important to them instead of what they needed to fix.

I want my education to give people a life that is bigger than their pain.  As life gets bigger, pain becomes smaller (and for some, disappears).

Sometimes you have to be humble and realize that you can’t fix someone’s pain or take away their diagnosis, but you can make them forget about their pain and feel it less when they are living their ideal valued life.

Still, I know you have questions about pacing, hesitation is probably. Let me answer some common questions below:

PACING FAQ’s:

My energy and pain are fluctuating constantly, which makes planning seem impossible. How do I plan and pace when my energy and pain are so unpredictable?

Whether we are having a good day or a bad day, we can see results from breaking things into smaller bits. On bad days, we are doing smaller bits and keeping ourselves from worsening a flare-up by overextending or remaining immobile for too long. On good days, we can do more small bits, but without the flare-up. As you break up your day into smaller chunks, you might start to see more stability and less fluctuations in your symptoms.

I don’t have time for the “rest” that pacing requires. I have things to do.

I’ve never met a person who experienced a flare-up by taking too many breaks and inserting rest. On the other hand, I have met many people who have had flare-ups from taking too few breaks. I’d like for you to consider how much productivity is thrown out the window because you find yourself in a crash. I also like to remind people that “rest” doesn’t have to be laying on the bed sleeping or on the couch watching tv. We are talking about alternating between physical activities (such as raking leaves), recovery activities (such as relaxing and watching your favorite show on netflix or doing a guided meditation), and mental activities (such as sending out some emails or sitting and planning out your week).

What about deadlines or pacing an all-day event?

Prep in advance when possible.

Prioritize and have a plan.

Amp up self-care prior to week of the deadline or event.

Precede and follow the deadline or all day event with rest or recovery.

See your tolerance for these situations improve as you pace more on all of the other days of the year!

What about when I have the best plan, but life or some other interruption gets in the way.

Yes, well even the best plans don’t always work out perfectly. But this is not ideal when you feel like you have no physical or mental energy to spare as it is. My answer will sound similar to what I shared above. If you are pacing more on the other days or all of the time, you will find yourself further from “survival mode” and closer to a feeling of balance, stability, and thriving. Then, you can approach these interruptions with a clearer mind, less burnout, and a body that isn’t as sensitive.

If you’re curious to learn more about pacing and how to get started, follow that curiosity and download my free video tutorial!